Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
