tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize