Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
