um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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