The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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