how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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