8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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