Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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