Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
