Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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