That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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