I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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