i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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