Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I look better un-naked...
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
