I met the friendliest cop last night
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
why is half of my head shaved?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
