U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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