I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Randomize
