If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
