yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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