it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
