what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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