hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
