I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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