We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize