He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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