a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
