That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
