Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
