the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
