Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
