i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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