plz talk dirty to me
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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