I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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