is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
