..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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