y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize