Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
