If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
