It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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