does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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