am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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