im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
