please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
