no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Randomize