So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
