You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize