fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Life is so much better after having sex.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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