I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
