I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
