he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
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