I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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