we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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