Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
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you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
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No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize