We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
