38 yer olds are good kisserssss
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
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well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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