What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
