you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Randomize
