I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Operation Purity has been aborted
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
