so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
