You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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