You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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