I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
