im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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