like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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