I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
