dude i'm inner monologue high
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
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