Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
