And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
