its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
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