Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
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